Woven in Pink & Blue
- Vivien Reed
- 3 hours ago
- 4 min read
How One local Mother Honored LossThrough a Meaningful Legacy
Loss is never easy. Sometimes it comes in a sudden, life-altering moment. Other times, it unfolds slowly and painfully. While each experience is different, what remains constant is the impact it leaves behind.
Pregnancy and infant loss is far more common than many realize, affecting as many as one in four women. For some, the loss happens so early on, they may not even know they were pregnant. For others, like local Rochester mom and business owner, Jen Chappell, the loss occurs after full-term labor and delivery.
Jen and her husband, John, are parents to Judah (14), Brooklyn (12), Parker (7), and Cooper, their third child, whose life ended at 38 weeks.
Jen’s pregnancy was relatively smooth until about 33 weeks, when Jen was told she had “more than normal” amniotic fluid. She remembers, “They told me it was fine. They’d just monitor me a little more closely, and they said it would be okay.”
She began going in for monitoring up to three times a week, and by 38 weeks, induction was scheduled. At her final appointment, they checked Cooper’s heartbeat and performed a routine internal exam. Jen felt him move suddenly but didn’t yet know it would be the last time.
She was then moved to another room, where they placed a heartbeat monitor on her belly. This time, they couldn’t find a heartbeat, a shock Jen wasn’t prepared for. Jen and John later learned that Cooper died due to a knot in his umbilical cord. The internal exam likely startled him, triggering a burst of movement. The intense movement Jen felt was Cooper fighting for his life.
“That moment changed me forever,” she says. “The person who walked out of that room was not the same person who walked in. I will grieve for him for the rest of my life. And yet, I also know he changed me, how I see the world, how I love, and ultimately, he made me better.”
"What started as one bracelet became a movement — a way for grieving families to feel seen, to speak their baby’s name, and to know they are not alone."
Grief calls to grief, and in the months that followed, Jen looked for meaningful ways to honor Cooper’s memory and express her sorrow. She discovered October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and she decided to make a pink and blue friendship bracelet to wear throughout the entire month.
She says, “I wore it all month long. And anytime someone asked me about it, I would tell them about Cooper. The bracelet brought me comfort. It gave me a way to talk about our baby and share our story.”
The following year, she invited friends and family to join her in making and wearing pink and blue bracelets. Word spread quickly; more and more people wanted bracelets. By 2019, volunteers began pouring in from all over the country, each wanting to support grieving families and bring awareness to silent heartbreak.
From that outpouring, The Pink and Blue Awareness Project began alongside The Cooper Project, which sells personalized items like necklaces and mugs to help honor lost babies.
Today, The Pink and Blue Awareness Project is a nationwide effort. Since 2017, more than 95,000 bracelets have been distributed. With support from sponsors and volunteers, the organization sends out around 35,000 bracelets each October to families, hospitals, and businesses. One of Jen’s favorite parts of the process is that each bracelet shipment includes a baby memorial card. Each volunteer adds a baby’s name to the card, a powerful tribute to lives that, though brief, are never forgotten.
Loss is hard to talk about. It’s deeply personal. For those on the outside, it can be hard to know what to say. One of the most healing things for Jen was being able to talk about Cooper and acknowledge that her loss was real.
She says, “I realized right away that pregnancy loss, though so common, is still taboo. I didn’t like that. And I wanted to change it.”
That’s exactly what The Pink and Blue Awareness Project aims to do: to create space for mothers and families to share their stories openly, to be seen and heard in their grief, and to connect with others who understand.
Jen’s biggest hope is that no family ever feels alone. “I want to give grieving mothers and families hope,” she says.
For Jen’s family and for thousands of others, October is more than just another month. It’s a time of remembrance, a time to honor. She says, “I want October to be known for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. I want to proudly remember my son Cooper and all the babies who are no longer here.”
Wearing a bracelet or volunteering time may seem like small acts, but in times of grief, they can mean everything. It says You are not alone.
A Message of Hope
To anyone walking through the pain of pregnancy or infant loss, Jen offers this message: “You’re going to get through this. It may feel like you’ll never feel normal again, that joy or hope will never return, but you will make it through. And your baby will never be forgotten.”
Every bracelet makes a difference. Every name matters.
A Note from Our Editors:
While we typically focus on uplifting content, we believe it's just as important to create space for stories that speak to the quiet, often unspoken moments of grief. Pregnancy and infant loss is one of those deeply personal experiences that many walk through in silence. By sharing this story, we hope to offer comfort, understanding, and a reminder that no one is truly alone. If it brings even a moment of connection or peace to someone who needs it, then we’ve done our part.– Sarah & Kara
